I have been so bogged down recently with thoughts of the future regarding homeschooling and my boys...so many times I wonder if I am doing it "right" or "wrong," and I spend countless hours thinking about ways I am going to do it better next year. This is all probably OK, because it pushes me to do better, but at some point, I find myself stopping to ask myself what is really important. I did that tonight. I was lost in some thoughts about my past tonight and something occurred to me...all that really matters is that my boys have a magnificent obsession with Jesus. I want them to be unafraid. I want them to stand on the precipice, their toes perched on the very edge, and leap off, knowing they will be safe in everlasting arms. Every generation hopes their children do better than they do, and I especially hope that in regards to spiritual things for my boys. There are so many things I already, in my 33 years, wish I had done differently in regards to my relationship with God. I wish I had left nothing reserved, and gone completely to the brink with him. I know I still can. But, I wish this to be a lesson my boys discover early in life. I want them to see things and experience things I never did. Things I was maybe too scared to, or things I worried what others would think of me so I didn't do.
Thinking about this stirs my heart, and I want to be up for the challenge. I don't want my life, my fears, my baggage, to in any way hinder them.